There is no training manual

Posted on Fri Aug 25th, 2023 @ 7:41pm by

2,230 words; about a 11 minute read

Mission: Mission 1: Campor III - Resupply
Location: Drylo's Office

Kas walked into the waiting room and stood patiently. He was too nervous to sit, so he paced back and forth. I wasn't comfortable with the Federation's idea of consoling, however he knew he needed help. His life had been turned upside down in the last year and he didn't know how to proceed.

Feeva had finished her notes for the next session with the young woman who'd just come in-an Ensign, fresh from the Academy, overwhelmed with Fleet life. It happened-Feeva knew from experience, especially on a ship this size-that one felt a bit lost and anonymous. While Fee preferred it, most people didn't. A quiet alarm sounded, letting her know it was time for her next appointment. She stood, and crossed to the doorway.

"Lt. Kas? Welcome. Please, come in," she said, stepping sideways to allow the man to enter her office. She shut the door, and indicated an old couch for him. "You can sit wherever you like, but most people sit there. You can stand, if you prefer. Some water?" She offered. She kept a carafe with real cups. It gave a bit of coziness to an otherwise-clinical office. Someday, she'd take the time to decorate it-the first few weeks of a new launch were too busy, though. She'd only managed to have time to hang a few posters, and some artwork that Leena had done.

"What brings you in today?" She asked.

Kas nodded and walked into the room, he relaxed his posture as he often did with people who are shorter than him. The Hybrid realized that his size and appearance could be considered intimidating.

"My surname is Razka," Kas gently corrected.

Feeva smiled lightly. "I apologize," she said, with a bow of her head. "I forget that Bajorans use their surnames first. I will remember for later," she said.

"I will sit." he took a cushion from the couch and placed it on the floor. He then sat cross legged.

She shrugged, but didn't say anything. She didn't judge people. "What brings you in today? Are you just here for your onboarding exam?" She asked.

"No I'm not sure when that's due," Kas confused. "I'm not sure where to begin. It's complicated."

Feeva smiled, but nodded. "Ok. It's due anytime, but we can just chat about whatever," she said. "Tell me about you." They could start with simple.

"I Razka Kas of the clan Yo'uhee I was born on the Yangteeze of the Quath'Mar." As Kas spoke he pulled his collar down to show a brand on the side of his neck and intricate tattoo work on his collar bone. "My father was Toq, he was Klingon. My mother was Razka Nula, a Bajoran. I grew up voyaging with the Quath'Mar, the children of the stars. I joined Starfleet as a young man, I returned to my people for a few years over a decade ago. I reunited with Rahl, a childhood friend, our relationship didn't work out. So I returned to Starfleet eight years ago…"

Kas paused, he made eye contact with the consoler before continuing.

Feeva said nothing, listening quietly. She nodded once, indicating he should continue.

"Three years ago the Yangteeze got a message to me that Rahl had died and I had a child. I wasn't aware of her existence until then…" Kas sighed. "I took a leave of absence from the fleet to spend several months with my people to get to know Keena before beginning her here with me. Things are difficult right now."

Feeva smiled lightly. "I would imagine so. I am sorry for your loss. What did you feel when you found out about your daughter?" She asked. Sometimes, people felt joy. Sometimes, betrayal. Sometimes, anger. Many things. There wasn't any one "right" way to feel.

"When the shock wore off, I was angry… However, there's no point in being angry with the dead." Kas sighed. "I don't know why Rahl didn't tell me, I would have gone back… I missed six years of Keena's life… I don't know how to make up for that. We haven't talked about it, I don't know what to say."

Fee nodded. "Shock and anger are very valid feelings," she said. "Even with the dead. Somedays, I still get mad at my late husband-for leaving us alone. He was killed in an engineering accident when a circuit blew," she said. "And on the days when my daughter is being particularly difficult, I can't help but feel a bit angry that I have to do it alone." Leena had been a daddy's girl, and Feeva was glad to let Eoin take her. "I only mention it to illustrate that...you need to allow yourself to feel all the emotions if you want to truly heal and connect. Missing six years is a long time, but you have many years to form a bond. Children are resilient." She paused a moment. "I can work with you on what to say and some things you can do and say. Or you can come in together. We can all talk."

"She is so much like her mother," Kas shook his head. "She went almost a month without speaking to me because she was so upset about leaving the Yangteeze. She began to speak to me after that incident in her classroom. Her mother was infuriatingly stubborn as well. In our culture silence is an acceptable answer to conflict. I've never heard of a child being silent for a month. Thankfully she was still talking to my colleague Isabella, it was very difficult."

Feeva smiled. "Well, with mine, it was only a few days when we left Starbase 16," Feeva replied. "But that's an interesting part of your culture I didn't know about! I would've assumed she would try to eat your liver through your stomach and use your toes as arrows, actually," she said. "Like I said, children are resilient. She will be ok, with time. Is there anyone on the ship you feel comfortable leaving her with or she's been spending extra time with?" Feeva asked. "Mostly so I can ask, too," she joked. "I've relied heavily on the school teachers, and after that, Leena has come to the infirmary with me, but that's not sustainable, long-term. I just...I don't trust just anyone with her. She's younger than yours-only four, so it has to be the right match."

Kas paused for a moment to compose his thoughts. "Consolor my daughter and I may be part Klingon biologically, however we are Quath'Mar. We are culturally different from our biological heritage. As for child care, a couple of the families in Keena's class have offered to watch her, but I haven't taken them up on it yet. Keena has been surprisingly slow to make friends, she was very social on the Yangteeze."

Feeva nodded, but blushed a bit at her faux pas. "My apologies. What is the difference in the two races? I am not...up to speed on that," she said. She knew the basics, but her training as Counselor had only been a brief overview of the races in the Federation-as in, "this is their name, location, and basic FAQs." She paused a beat. "That's likely part of her upset at the changes. If you'd like to meet at the school tomorrow, I can introduce her to Leena. Interesting that they have a similar name," she said. "Leena has always had a bit of difficulty making friends...she's more quiet, like me, but a carbon copy of her father, appearance wise. Dark hair, blue eyes. Genetics are weird like that," she said. "Anyway. It would be good for both of them, perhaps. And I am always willing to watch her, as well...having a child of my own, I can confidently say that at least I know what I am doing. Most of the time." She sighed. She sometimes felt like a terrible mother, actually, but she just knew that that was her own self-talk. She'd managed to keep Leena fed, clothed, happy, and alive for two years by herself, so she couldn't be TOO bad at it.

"Quath'Mar are not a species, we are a people. We live a nomadic live style in space." Kas explained. "We have our own language, customs and traditions that unit us, but you will find many different species among our people."

Kas sighed, "By the time I was Keena's age I could speak Klingon, Bajoran and Quathteen. It seems Rahl didn't teach Keena anything about her Klingon heritage. When I realized that I was upset, I don't know why Rahl didn't teach her anything about my family."

She nodded, making a few notes in her PADD. She was going to research the Quath'Mar more so she could understand him better. "I could understand why that is upsetting. It's important to keep ones culture as long as possible. I find it difficult with mine; I don't understand a lot of Human culture-it's different from Vissian culture and I wish she had more cultural experiences in that half of her parentage," Feeva said. "There's still time for her to learn about being Klingon, Bajoran, and Quath'Mar. She could also choose to embrace her own culture, mixing the three to form her own identity. I know that's a bit...strange, but unless you have plans to return to Quonos, I think she'd be ok," Feeva said. "From a mental health perspective, only, I mean." She clarified. She wasn't about to tell anyone how to raise their child. "Start incorporating small bits at a time-take her to the Holodeck to watch a Klingon documentary. Play Klingon opera during meals. Things like that. Same for the Bajoran, and Quath'Mar, and so on. I have heard that the school is going to do a multicultural thing soon; that may be a good time to introduce it. Discuss your past-what is age appropriate-and where you come from, and why that's important. Do you have any other family?" She asked.

"Father left the Quath'Mar when I was five," Kas sighed. "He's made no attempt to contact me. What I know Klingon culture I was taught by the Klingons who stayed with my people. I guess that's why taking care of Keena is so important to me. My mother and Rahl's mother would have raised her if I hadn't. I can't let my girl grow up wondering why her father didn't care about her."

Feeva nodded. "I see. I am sorry about your father; my mother left when I was a child. I've not seen her since I was six years old. Girls really need a mother, but my father did his best," she said. "However...it really takes a VILLAGE. Find people on the ship that you can entrust with her care, or at least that have a high enough security clearance. Build some bonds. Even if they're just friendships, or even just acquaint-ships, it will be important for Keena to have as many adults in her life as possible. My Leena has my father, who I am trying to get come aboard with us, to help me care for her, and also her father's parents. I thought about leaving her with them, but...she's all I have left of him, and...I didn't want her to forget me, too," she said. She shrugged. "The point is...we all worry about the same things. No matter what race we are, no matter where we come from...our fears and our similarities are closer than different. Do you think you might be able to ask someone soon? Anyone who seems together enough to care for her when you're on duty?" She asked. "Think about it. You don't need to tell me, just...keep it in your mind. Do you have anything else you want to discuss? Do you want to come back? We can schedule something...or you are free to drop by whenever the computer says I have an opening," she said. "It's your choice." She spoke lightly. She realized she needed to take her own advice soon-Leena couldn't sit around the SickBay forever, coloring.

"Petty Officer Eason has a couple of children, one of them is about your daughter's age. She's offered the watch to Keena, I'll have to see how Keena gets along with her boy first. Keena sprained his wrist in a fight in class, children often mend relationships faster than adults." Kas smiled As for future appointments, I don't want to commit to anything right now."

Feeva nodded. "Petty Officer Eason. Ok, I will look him up, solely for security reasons," she said. "That's nice of her! It will be good for Keene to have other children her age around. "Sometimes children hurt other children when they don't have the words to express their feelings," she said. "It is not allowed, I understand, but...understandable for her. You're welcome to leave her with me if we have duty at opposite times," she said. "Like I said...a village." She smiled lightly.

"That is ok. You don't have to see me again, unless you want to. My door is always open. If you have nothing else, you are free to go," she said. "Thank you for sharing with me today." Fee said, getting to her feet to show him out.

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