Festivus for the Rest of Us

Posted on Sat Dec 23rd, 2023 @ 10:42pm by Lieutenant Mario Pranjić & Lieutenant JG Annika Wiseman

4,181 words; about a 21 minute read

Mission: Mission Zeta: An Eerie Evening
Location: Holodeck 3
Timeline: MD Holiday

The holodeck doors opened to a grassy plain, the tree line barely visible in the distance. A large picnic table was near where the arches opened. An aluminum pole, resembling a flag pole, but without a flag stood tall near the head of the table. A paved path led from the picnic area out into the field. At first glance it looked like the field had a playground set, but closer inspection would reveal it was more of an obstacle course.

Lissa had put together a picnic feast, and a cooler of drinks, mostly lemonade, tea, and water but told everyone to feel free to bring their own hard drinks if they wanted. She enlisted Annika to help her set up a little early.

"I didn't ask, did you ever go to a Festivus party at the Academy?" Lissa asked Annika while they were setting things out and waiting for the others to come.

"I went to one in my last year in nursing school, it turned into a food fight towards the end, I'm hoping that doesn't happen here." Annika said as she set down a heavy bowl of salad.

Lissa laughed. "Seriously? Don't say that out loud when the guys get here, and I think we should be alright." Lissa put out a stack of plates and utensils.

Lissa talked as she continued to put food out, "We did one at an outdoor pool and our 'feats of strength' was a giant game of chicken in the water. It was pretty fun, but I didn't know if everyone would be into that."

Feeva arrived, dressed in jeans, boots, and a flannel shirt. Her red hair was braided, and tied at the bottom with a matching plaid ribbon. "Hello!" She said. "I am not familiar with a Festivus, but it sounded like fun." She was making an effort to get out more-now that she could trust a few more people on the ship with Leena's care, she felt more able to attend social events that weren't family-oriented.

Zeke Ligan slipped in before the arch closed behind the counselor. He was carrying a bag. "He guys. I am in no way suggesting this is a good idea, but if anyone is up for celebrating after the feats of strength I brought the ingredients for Orion hurricanes. Including a substitute for delaq for those who have to work tomorr..."

"Oh, hi," he said as he realized Feeva was right in front of him. He had almost ran into her. "Sorry about that. I'm uh, Zeke," he said extending a hand to her. "I guess I should watch where I'm going." She was cute with her red hair twisted into braids.

Feeva had jumped when the man spoke, not expecting someone to be immediately behind her. The redhead had whipped around, though. She looked back at Lissa, giving the Orion a look, but smiled. "Hi. I am Feeva Drylo, ship's counselor," she said. "It's ok, you didn't hurt me," she said.

"Glad to hear it," Zeke said with a smile as his eyes met hers. "A counselor? Have you been to one of these before?"

Fee shook her head. "No, I haven't," she said. "Only regular Christmas," she said. "My, um..husband was human, and introduced me to the custom before he died," she said. "Nice to meet you," she said. "What do we do?" She turned back to Lissa.

Zeke walked alongside Fee toward the table, "The first bit is a lot of venting, complaining. People are just blowing off steam for the fun of it. I wanted to warn you that you're off duty. Just relax and have a good time with it," Zeke told her as they approached the table.

"I'll go over the order of proceedings once everyone arrives," Lissa said. "We've got a few others coming and I think some other newbies as well. Wanna drink? I've got lemonade, tea, and water in here. Most people are going to save the drinking until the end."

Feeva nodded her understanding. "I see," she said. "I can do that," she said. "I have a few things to complain about. Can I have a tea, please? " She asked.

Lissa handed Fee a large glass of tea. "It'll feel good. Just a no judgement release!" She threw her hand up dramatically in the air.

The limited silence was broken by "Hey Crunch lighten up will ya, this isn't like flight school." the booming feminine voice of Kelly echoed

"Ya yah..." Crunch called back "Hey raven is your emerald princess gonna be here so you can make an ass of yourself?"

"Hey, I'll let her cut you up so Buster has to break-in a new guy again." Mario called out

"I think we should conduct ourselves in a respectful manner, as we are just one group of guests." Strock spoke in a Vulcan monotone.

"Oh wait..." Kelly started up "Is the future Ms Strock going to be here too?"

Unphased by the remark "Yes Annika is going to be here, she is helping with the preparations."

Mario sensing things were close to getting out of hand "Stow it you gorillas or I'll have the three of you degaussing a transporter."

Annika broke up the mayhem "Hey sweetie!" as he hugged Strock.

Mario looked around for Lissa.

Lissa walked up to Mario with an amused grin on her face. "Go easy on them, what's a Festivus party without a little ruckus and chaos." She tugged lightly on the side of his shirt, "Good to see you."

"I think they're worked up since we didn't get to fly today, I might have to get them liquored up and put them to bed." Mario said laughing.

"The obstacle course run might help with that," Lissa suggested. In a louder voice she goaded the guys Mario had walked in with. "Would hate to see you all get smoked by a bunch of women."

Kelly spoke up first, "Last time I checked I was a woman," pulling the collar of her shirt out "Yup, female human."

Crunch Just laughed, "Calm down Kelly, save it for the obstacle course."

Lissa walked over to Kelly. "Hey, I was assuming if we had a girls team you'd be with us. Sorry if I offended you." Lissa looked around. "I was thinking you know, girl power?" she said meekly, holding up a fist. Lissa generally got along with everyone, and wasn't used to offending people. At least not unintentionally.

Kelly looked at Lissa, "You're dating my wingman, I gotta look out for you, same with little sister over there making puppy eyes at Numbers, far as for right now I think we gotta make nice and welcome our new friend."

"I hope so. I mean that," Lissa said. "We're doing that obstacle course later," Lissa said point to the set in the distance. "That's all I was trash talking about. Just good fun, and you belong on our team."

Kelly smiled "I think so.."

Feeva's head was swirling with all the new arrivals. It seemed like everyone already knew each other. She should've asked if she could've brought Kas along, though it was all junior officers. "Hello," she said, quietly.

"Everyone, have you met Fee and Zeke?" Lissa said making her way back to the table. "I think a couple more are still coming yet. Grab a drink. Festivities will commence shortly!"

Edwin walked into the room, he saw Feeva and quickly looked to see if his boss was here too. He relaxed a little when he saw she seemed to be alone. He'd heard rumors they were dating but wasn't about to ask. Razka actually smiled on occasion these days so he wasn't going to jinx it.

"Hey guys, thanks for the invite," Edwin smiled. "I haven't been to one of these since the Academy."

"Hey Edwin, it's been a while. Do you know Fee and Zeke? Two of my buddies," Lissa said introducing the two of them.

Feeva smiled. "Yes, I know Ensign Veers, he's one of Kas's team," she said. "Hello!" She said, with a smile. "More...people?" She asked.

"Yep," Edwin said. "You can call me Edwin."

Fee smiled. "Edwin," she said, nodding in confirmation.

"Then there's Mario, we're kinda dating I guess you could say." Lissa felt herself blush a little, she still felt like a kid with a crush around him sometimes. "You know Annika, the Vulcan she's with Strock, and the other guy over there is Mark. You'll hear them call each other by their call signs. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to yet, so I just use their names." Lissa was standing among Edwin, Fee, and Zeke when she pointed out Mario and his friends on the recon flight team.

Feeva nodded. She was good with names, once she was able to put a face to it, and she'd remember fine. She smiled. "Nice to meet everyone formally," she said.

"I guess we'll get started in just a minute. Excuse me, I'll be right back," Lissa said walking over to where Mario stood. She hung back a little, not wanting to waltz into the middle of his friend group. She tried to get his attention without making another scene.

Mario turned to see Lissa, "So this is what festivus looks like?"

"I'm about to get us started. There's an order of proceedings, if you will. Just making sure everything was cool." Lissa glanced away from his friends. "I feel like I just made an enemy right off the bat."

"Kelly gets a little steamed when she gets lumped in with the boys some times, she'll be fine." Mario said putting his hands on her shoulders "Plus I think she needs some action or she'll go nuts."

Lissa sighed. "I thought the goal was to *not* have any action?" She smiled coyly at him. "We're a peacekeeping organization, remember? Anyway, I should get us started. Hopefully people have fun."

"We could use some, plus I wouldn't mind seeing you run." he said with a wink.

Lissa slapped him on the arm playfully as she suppressed a laugh. "You are so bad," she teased. "Ready for some food and silliness?"

"You haven't eaten with these animals." Mario said as they walked together

Lissa walked over to the picnic tables where she and Annika had set out the food and drinks earlier. She climbed onto one of the benches nearest to the aluminum pole.

In a loud and melodramatic voice, Lissa began, "I would like to formally announce the commencement of the USS Columbia 2396 Festivus Celebrations! Since some of you are new to the holiday, an important thing to remember is what happens at Festivus stays at Festivus."

"Our first order of business, while we eat is to air our grievance to this bare aluminum pole." Lissa made a showing of looking up at the pole. "This is a time for you to vent about all who have wronged you this year, get those things that have been bothering you off your chest, and commiserate with laughter and good food!"

Changing to a more serious voice, Lissa looked around those gathered. "After we eat, we will perform our feats of strength. For we have and will overcome those obstacles set in our paths."

Lissa jumped off the bench and onto the ground. "Dig in!"

Zeke gesture to an area of the table for Edwin and Fee to sit down. "Join me?" He looked at Fee, "And if withholding advice gets too difficult, you can just whisper it to us," he said with a playful laugh.

Feeva laughed.. "Sure, thanks," she said. "I am the Counselor, I hold EVERYONE'S secrets," she said, headed for the food first. She was many things, but HUNGRY was near the top.

Edwin sat next to Feeva and smiled politely, he'd seen her and her daughter in around the ship. Razka often allowed Keena to run around the shuttle bay and sometimes they had another little girl with them. He couldn't remember the little girl's name. "How is your daughter... Counselor?"

Feeva had returned from the food table with a smaller plate. She was hungry but she never ate much. She was more of a snacker type, eating small amounts all through the day. She always had been. "Leena is well, thanks," she said. "Do you have any children?" Feeva asked, settling into her chair. "I hope she isn't too much trouble when she's playing with Keena," Feeva said. She turned to Zeke. "How about you? I know you're single but do you have any children?" There was a small number-but still an alarming amount for such a small crew-of single parents aboard, all with different stories.

Zeke shook his head. "No kids for me yet."

Feeva nodded. "Ah! Understandable," she said. She smiled, feeling a little awkward.

"I come from a big family though. My nieces and nephews are all still pretty young. Did you say you had one child? A daughter?" Zeke asked.

Feeva nodded. "Yes, her name is Leena," she said. "She is four," she said. "I am an only child, though my husband had two siblings," she said. "None of the rest of his family are in the Fleet," she said. "So Leena doesn't get to see them often, except via Relay or Holovids or something," she said.

tag; Zeke

Kelly and Mark took a seat, "this should be good, should we take bets on who throws the first punch? Kelly remarked

"You." Mark said without batting an eye, Kelly shoved mark off his seat.

"Okay, okay, so I have a grievance to air, I'll get us started. Anni can help me fill in the blanks," Lissa began. "Having to hunker down for over FOUR hours in the middle of a routine away mission, because the XO was too busy to talk to our Unnamed CO, and said CO took that to mean we were under attack." Lissa rolled her eyes remembering the story.

"Oh, sorry kids. False alarm, I guess. Come on!" Lissa exclaimed.

"Yes talk about a missed call, an away team planet side, lightly armed, waiting on all hell to break loose, I give this a failing grade!" Annika exclaimed.

"Whose next?" Lissa asked the table.

"Me!" Annika said without blinking, "I'd like to clear the air and voice my grievance about some misinformation, I was never interested in Lieutenant Elliot as some people including a certain senior officer implied, yes he's a great officer to work with, but I have feelings for Mr Strock." she blurted out realizing what she was admitting too.

"Ugh! That's the worst!" Lissa said in commiseration. "Not Strock of course, I'm sure you're great. Can't wait to get to know you better. But when people are teasing you are pushing you toward someone you don't even like and won't get over it." Lissa rolled her eyes. "Not cool at all. Am I right?"

"Completely," Zeke agreed. "I hope you told them all to shut the fuck up."

Lissa laughed hysterically, "With all DUE respect, sir!"

Fee felt herself blush just a little. "Oh my, I can sort of relate," she said, quietly. Then she looked around. "I suppose I can go next." The diminutive redhead tried to make her voice as loud as possible.

"Having to spend time on the Bridge when I have nothing to do but stare out of the window is really grating. Also, my daughter waking up at 4 am everyday is a bit old now. So if anyone would like to borrow a toddler for a day so I can catch up on sleep, I have one," she said, making a face. She loved Leena but she didn't love sleep regression and the sleepless nights that holidays caused.

Mario chimed in "I know we're all new here but I've noticed three things, unless we've known someone aboard ship like my self and Lieutenant Elliot or Strock and Annika everyone seems to want to avoid us, we don't bite, well I can't speak for the deck crew, " Kelly and Mark laughed "But the standby lounge is always open for a game of cards or maybe some other antics, come on let's have some fun."

Lissa looked at Mario wide eyed with worry that she had done something wrong by not making it down there yet. She had been worried he would think she was clingy or not like being teased at work. "I'm sorry, let us know a good time, we'll come down, right guys?" She said looking to Fee and Zeke for support.

Zeke laughed, "Of course. I didn't realize it was so isolated down there."

"Of course. Actually, I should mention it to the teacher; the kids would love it, I think-the younger ones, anyway, to see the planes."

Kelly spoke up "The dart board looks like someone took a machine gun too it we got so bored the other day, I think Crunch fell asleep on one of the bunks."

Feeva laughed. "Medicine isn't nearly that exciting," she remarked, dryly.

Annika chimed in, "Their standby lounge is more like a club house or a frat house, sorry Kelly but the sports bra hanging from the post of the bunk is a giveaway."

Lissa looked across the table and realized how pretty Kelly was. "So Kelly, Strock, uh Mark you've been kinda quiet. Any grievances to air before we move on to our feats of strength?"

Kelly spoke up, "We're gonna stick with Raven on this one, we don't bite, maybe crunch, but otherwise we don't."

"Well since one of them is here," Ligan called out. "And without saying any names, I take grievance with people who try to slip their own security detail. One that was put in place, oh to say keep them from getting stabbed or shot."

Lissa was in the middle of swallowing and almost choked on her chips. She coughed for a second and reached for her drink, holding the bottle in front of her face longer than necessary.

Annika glared at Ligan, she had to fight a more violent urge, Strock sensing the change of mood in his lover stepped in, "I feel that this has passed the intended spirt of the exercise but if you feel inclined too voice your displeasure at this persons actions you should be aware that in several situations there was no need for such an over protective measure."

"What, we can't laugh about it now?" Ligan asked holding his hands in the air. "It's all supposed to be in the spirit of fun. I had orders. And Annika happens to be very talented at slipping a tail. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to get everyone riled up. I certainly didn't mean to offend you, Annika."

Annika stood, she needed to cool off before she exploded, she started to walk away, Strock followed her so she wouldn't leave the event.

Feeva watched nervously, her brown eyes searching. "I can go, if you'd like," she said quietly.

"You didn't do anything," Lissa said apologetically. "Why would you need to go?"

"Oh! I meant to talk to Annika," she said. "I am used to doing such..." she trailed off. Some people were better left alone, though.

"It's alright, Lissa," Zeke said standing up. "Repeat my apologies later. I didn't realize it was a sore subject."

"Yeah, me either," Lissa said miserably as she watched him go. "This was a horrible idea," she muttered feeling embarrassed that she had now embarrassed herself not once, but twice in front of Mario and his friends. She wanted to leave herself. Instead she stood up and called out, "Computer, change program. Chez Sandrine."

"It's ok," Feeva said, hearing the Orion. "I am actually having a decent time," she said.

"I don't see how, I'd leave myself but I don't want to make a scene," Lissa said.

The area around them morphed from an open, grassy area into a dark bar, that from the patron's clothing appeared to be late 1800 - early 1900's. A pool table was the focal point of one side of the room, and a grand piano the other. Unless you told it otherwise, the program always began with the holoprogram participants being greeted by the bosomy bartender, along with several other patrons of the bar.

Lissa used the commotion to slip away from the group and find a dark corner to sit in near the piano.

Mario looked at the apes, "Kelly go make sure she hasn't left, I'll defuse this."

Mario walked over to the group Ligan was with, "Bad timing, she's flustered by the constant baby sitting okay? I would let it go, plus after she winged the guy and she saved Jason's life not many can say that, if this was any other situation even I would agree that she was outta line, far as any more discussion about it for now is off limits this supposed to be fun, let Kelly and Strock get her calmed down, okay, you didn't do anything wrong."

"You know an awful lot for someone who hasn't been here that long. It's fine, I was just leaving," Zeke said brushing past Mario and calling for the arch.

Lissa saw the light from the corridor when the arch opened for Zeke, and wished it were a closer to where she was sitting so she could slink away. If they didn't start playing on their own soon, a hologram named Charles would challenge them to a game of pool. She weighed the pros and cons of staying or trying to slip out.

Feeva watched the events play out carefully, and then made for the door, behind Zeke, though she'd head off in the opposite direction, provided no-one saw her escaping.

Out in the hallway, Feeva gulped. Things had gone south, and she felt like she should've been able to fix it somehow-as the Counselor, that was her job, after all. Still. It was OK to let people do as they wished sometimes. She was free for the evening, though, and, in a moment of bravery, she turned around, and spoke as loudly as she could.

"Zeke? Want to...have a drink in the lounge? With me?" She let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding in.

Zeke turned, surprised to hear his name in the hallway, and saw Feeva standing outside the holodeck. She must have left when he had. He smiled warmly at her, happy to see a friendly face after what had just happened. "Sure, I'd like that."

Oh, no. She nodded. "Ok, lead the way. I have a sitter for a few more hours; Uh, the oldest Turner daughter. She has to be home by 2200, though." *Shut up, Fee*, she told herself. "Let's go." She smiled, but started down the corridor to the Turbolift.

"When I was a kid I rather enjoyed when older children came over to babysit. I don't know why, but it just seemed more fun than having an adult over," Zeke commented as he followed Feeva into the lift.

Mario looked as he saw Zeke leave, "That was an uncontrolled landing" making a reference to a fighter pilot joke about crashing, he looked around seeing Kelly standing off in the distance shrugging her shoulders indicating Annika and Strock had left, this had become a disaster and Mario didn't know what to do he motioned for Kelly to leave and find them, he then looked around seeing Lissa, he walked over to her hoping things hadn't come completely unraveled.

Lissa saw Feeva slip out behind Zeke and looked up to see Mario standing nearby. "I'm sorry, I'm not really in the mood for a party anymore. You guys can have the holodeck," she offered.

Mario looked at Lissa, "It wasn't your fault, Annika has had to carry a lot of things since Jason got jumped and having someone pestering her at every corner isn't helping, I'm surprised it took this long for her to lash out."

"It's not just that. This whole day started with me pissing Kelly off. I just feel like I can't do anything right. Your friends are never going to like me after this," Lissa said. She traced her finger along the grain of the wood on the table top, studying it's pattern closely - afraid to look up.

Mario took Lissa's hand, "Let's go get some hot cocoa and just talk."

Lissa stood up and leaned her shoulder against Mario's arm. "Talk? Is it bad?" she asked nervously hoping the day wasn't about to get worse.

"Not every conversation has to be bad, there is one thing I could say..." Mario paused "I'm glad I met you."

Lissa mustered a grin. "Thanks for that," she said tugging his arm toward where she'd seen the arches open before. "Somewhere not too crowded, I don't want to run into a lot of people."

Mario paused for a second, "How about my quarters, we can be alone and if you need to vent you can."

Lissa nodded as they left the holodeck.

End

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